Wishful Thinking
by SexySpikezBoo
Summary: Post Entropy, Buffy's life sinks deeper into misery then ever and only person can pull her out of it. But is she willing to let him? PG13 for now maybe NC-17 later on
1. Refuge

DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to the great people at UPN and mutant enemy. Joss is the creator of them not me, I OWN ABSOLTULY NOTHING.  
  
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now its Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.  
  
  
  
Drops of rain drizzled leaving clear trails of liquid on her moist skin. She was soaked but she didn't seem to mind the numb feeling sweeping her body. The stars were nowhere to be seen yet she still stared at the endless sky above her. The night was cold and empty closely resembling the way she felt inside these past few months. Anger devoured her but hurt consumed every part of her being. Everywhere she looked she searched for prey to  
  
unravel her fury upon but somehow nothing of the evil nature had come her way all night. She had been sitting in the same spot for a couple of hours; her small yet lethal hands had left prints in the damp grass beneath her. Her body had tuned itself out to its surroundings; she couldn't feel the chill, the wind, or the rain dropping its remains on her.  
  
Her mind was transfixed on one image. That of her once lover pumping in and out of the ex-demon who she once had considered her friend. She knew that one image would haunt her thoughts for months to come. After leaving the magic box she had escaped to her refuge in the cliff over looking the infamous city of Sunnydale, California. She came here every time self pity decided to pay her a visit. Tonight was different though, she hadn't cried, she hadn't slayed, she hadn't even spoke a word. Tonight she just sat in silence and watched the scenery below. She watched as house by house turned of their lights, she watched as the city fell into slumber, she watched as the rain coated the streets with its tears, and she watched as the trees swayed in their midnight dance.  
  
As much as she wished her life would once change for the better deep down she knew that was all wishful thinking. She was the slayer, the chose one; a tough life came as a part of the job requirement. She was only 21 but her life was full of experiences that most people would never dream of in their worst nightmares. On nights like these her life flashed before her eyes sinking her deeper and deeper into the ocean of pity that existed in her heart.  
  
Sometimes she'd find herself thinking of how her life would turn out if she had made some different decisions in her life. If she never killed Angel, if she had still been with Riley, if her mother hadn't died, if she never had to face off with the hell bitch, if she had never slept with Spike….. Don't go there Buffy, she thought to herself. Once again she saw Spike thrusting into Anya, for the first time all night tears made their presence known in her hazel eyes. As much as she denied her feelings for vampire the hurt was too much to handle. Maybe it was love, No you don't love him, the voice in her head said.  
  
Why do you lie to yourself, the voice in her heart said. You can't love him he has no soul, he's pure evil.  
  
She knew she was wrong, he wasn't evil. He hadn't been evil for a long time. He had been there for her after her mother's death, he had comforted her after she came back from the dead, and he had made her feel alive. But she pushed him away, gave him all he ever wanted and then snatched it out of his grasp. She treated him like a toy; she played with him and then put him back on the shelf. She had used him and discarded of him tearing his non beating heart into shreds. Yet he always came back when she needed him, he always gave her what she wanted even though he knew she'd leave and pretend nothing had happened, pretend it meant nothing to her.  
  
  
  
And now she was weeping for him, missing him, craving him. She lifted up her limp hand and wiped away the warm tears descending from her watery eyes. She paused to check the time on her watch. Noticing the early morning hour she lifted her body of the ground and stared into the distance. The sun was going to come up any minute shining its glowing essence onto the damned city. Wiping her tears for the last time she began her journey towards the other side of town.  
  
  
  
A black clad figure watched the young girl leave her hiding place. He was leaning against a tree, hidden by the shadows. He had watched her cry and his heart tugged through his chest. He had caused her so much pain and guilt swallowed him whole. He reached into his duster's pocket and searched for his pack of cigarettes. He lifted the box and pulled out his last one. He acquired the silver lighter from his other pocket and lit the smoke.  
  
He watched as Buffy left the clearing and continued her way down the cliff's path. A single tear rolled down his stone cold cheek. He turned the other way and made his way to his crypt before the sun had a chance to burn him whole.  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC… 


	2. The way it is

DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to the great people at UPN and mutant enemy. Joss is the creator of them not me, I OWN ABSOLUTLY NOTHING.  
  
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now its Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.  
  
  
  
The cemetery was filled with the fetid stench of vampire remains. The wind howled through the trees that surrounded the area like a circular fence. Buffy walked quickly  
  
through trees and around tombstones. She had promised Dawn tonight would be as sister's night in; they had rented a bunch of teenage flicks and stocked up on junk food. After trying to kill Dawn Buffy thought quality time together would benefit them both.  
  
The young vampire slayer clutched her jacket; the night was unusually chilly for the weather in Sunnydale.  
  
It was a pretty slow patrol; she had only slayed two vampires and one particularly revolting demon. Buffy picked up her pace as she glanced at her wristwatch; she was definitely going to be late if she didn't start walking faster. The only sound heard throughout the cemetery was the crunching of leaves beneath Buffy's new boots.  
  
After working at the DMP she managed to save up a little money so she could treat herself to new shoes.  
  
Buffy then spotted the tall gates that indicated the entrance to the cemetery. Maybe she was going to make it on time after all. Then she could sense the familiar presence of the non human variety creep up on her. She looked around out of the corner of her eyes but all that she was bare forest staring back at her. Her inside twisted into a knot as she realized who it was watching her out of the shadows. It was him, anger seeped through her.  
  
She had no intention of seeing him therefore she kept walking. Fast and brisk, the faster she got away from him the better. Just as she reached the well lit area near the gates he stepped out from behind a large tree. Buffy stopped dead in her tracks. The look on his face could have melted an iceberg. His gorgeous blue eyes were filled with sorrow and hurt, so transparent. He looked like a lost puppy, the kind you find and never won't to give up. A part of her wanted to hold him and comfort him. Her facial features softened  
  
but then she remembered what he had done and anger streaked her face. Her nostrils flared, at that moment she wanted to pummel him to the ground and beat the shit out of him.  
  
She gave him one last look of utter hate and kept walking. Spike's heart had felt like it was broken the moment she shot him that look of hatred. He hadn't seen that look in years, he cursed at himself for making her feel this way.  
  
  
  
"Slayer, we have to talk," Spike persisted and kept walking after her.  
  
She was ahead of him and wasn't planning on stopping. If she had to look at him one more time she was afraid she's burst into tears.  
  
"I have nothing to say to you," Buffy replied with the bitterest tone of voice.  
  
"Please I need to explain," Spike said in pleading way.  
  
By now they were out of the cemetery and Buffy was still walking down the dark street without once looking back at her follower.  
  
"Explain?" Buffy said sarcastically. "You screwed one of my friends, what's there to explain?"  
  
"That's not what happened, please just listen to me."  
  
"That is what happened; I saw it with my own two eyes, so stop with the bull."  
  
"All I'm asking for is just a chance to talk to you."  
  
Buffy turned around and faced him. His perfectly chiselled face was illuminated by the moonlight and his hair glowed. He was dressed as he usually was, skin tight shirt and pants along with his signature duster draped over him.  
  
"I never ever want to talk to you again, don't come by my house, don't follow me on patrol, don't come by my work, and stay away from Dawn or my stake will be please to meet your heart," with that she turned and quickly disappeared around the corner.  
  
Spike stared at the empty spot where his love just stood. Her harsh words replayed back and forth in his head and sadness was all Spike was left with. He wasn't sure he'd be able to follow through with her requests and stay away from her and Dawn. They were everything to him but even the lil' bit probably hated him. He felt like nothing, a useless creature that wasn't allowed to be a demon and wasn't man. No one needed him, no one wanted him, and no one cared what would happen to him. With those depressed thoughts Spike stalked back towards his crypt.  
  
  
  
********************************************************  
  
Buffy turned the corner and left the vampire alone in the middle of the street. She hoped her words would convince him it was best to stay away from her. It would hurt too much to see him. She knew Dawn was upset at him too, it was better for everyone he didn't show his face. Buffy could once again feel the familiar feeling of loneliness descend upon her. Lately, loneliness was the only thing she ever felt. She couldn't remember the last time she genuinely smiled or let out a non forced laugh. It's not like she had "hurt me" stamped on her forehead. Maybe this was just the way it is…..  
  
  
  
(((TBC, next chapter is full of sadness *tear*. Please review, I'm writing as fast as I can))) 


	3. Bad Day

Beep Beep Beep! Buffy awoke to the most annoying sound; it pierced her ears with its screeches. She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt like they were 100 pounds; she rubbed her eyes forcing them to unlock. Her hazel eyes slowly adjusted to the sunlight that seeped through her bedroom. The sound wouldn't stop and Buffy tried to determine what the cause of the racket was. She turned on her left side and faced the flashing alarm clock. The little neon lights read 7:30 AM, time to get up and face the world. The last thing on her mind was getting out of bed. Buffy lifted herself of the comfortable spot and stretched her limbs. Pain coursed through her body, she was so stiff in too many places.  
  
The previous night she encountered a large scaly demon that put up quite a fight. Buffy cracked a few bones and let out a final yawn. She made her way to the bathroom and rubbed her aching head. She stared at the stranger in the tiny bathroom mirror. She hadn't recognized herself at first. Big black circles made themselves at home under her eyes and she noticed bags were making their presence known too. She extended her tiny hands and touched her now coarse skin, her lips were chapped too.  
  
Buffy was disgusted at what she saw; it wasn't her she was seeing. It was some sort of  
  
illusion, she kept saying to herself. She always prided herself fin her looks but lately she hadn't given a damn about makeup or creams. Buffy changed out of her pyjamas into a pair of sweats and a tank top and made her way downstairs to get Dawn off to school.  
  
She could hear Dawn on the phone yapping away. Teenagers, Buffy thought. She walked into the kitchen and saw her sister sitting around the table talking on the phone and eating cereal.  
  
"Morning," Buffy said.  
  
Dawn smiled to acknowledge her.  
  
"Oh my god, he asked her out as a joke?" Dawn started to giggle. "That's so dry."  
  
"Dawnie, it's like almost 8:00 and you have school today," Buffy hinted.  
  
"Buffy, it's Saturday," Dawn looked at her with a questioning look.  
  
"It is?"  
  
"Yep, and by the way I'm going over to Kaylee's house today, her dad's taking us fishing."  
  
"Yeah, that's great," Buffy said trying to sound enthusiastic. "Have fun but don't be late."  
  
"Alright, he'll be here in like 10 minutes to pick me up so I better get dressed."  
  
With that Dawn left Buffy standing in the middle of the kitchen all by herself.  
  
The only good thing about Saturdays was that it was her only day off work. She was going to have a hamburger free day. Buffy put on a pot of coffee and turned on the small radio in the kitchen. Buffy found herself sitting on a stool and staring off into space. She waited for her coffee to make and then took the steaming mug and let the hot liquid burn her tongue. The radio sang a song that perfectly fit her life these past few weeks.  
  
**  
  
See Baby I apologize  
  
For all the things  
  
That I've done, that I've done  
  
See I know that I've been a fool  
  
For far too long  
  
Baby you don't have to  
  
Go and run away  
  
Just come back to me  
  
Please baby, baby won't you stay  
  
If you really love me  
  
Then why are you leavin' me?**  
  
  
  
  
  
Everything was so routine without him in her life, so empty. No matter how hard she denied she missed him so much. She missed the games they played, the way he made butterflies appear in her stomach, the way he kissed her, the way he felt inside her.  
  
Her whole world was crumbling and the only person that could save her was the person she couldn't let herself love. Maybe it was her fault he wasn't around anymore, she pushed him away. She hadn't seen him for almost a month and everyday had become harder and harder. Stop being so weak, she told herself. Was it possible she loved him?  
  
How can you cry so much for someone you don't love…? You can't love him after what he did to you, that nuisance of a voice was whispering in her head. What about what you did to him? Buffy's heart was being torn into two, the part that wants Spike and the part that despises him.  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
  
I can't think  
  
Think about this crazy day  
  
I lose sleep  
  
Just to daydream about you baby  
  
  
  
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy  
  
Just thinkin' about you lately  
  
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy  
  
Just thinkin' about you baby  
  
I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy  
  
Thinkin' about you lately**  
  
  
  
She was going crazy, her mind was so mixed up. How had she broken down like this?  
  
The realization that her life was truly pathetic sunk in harder than any stone. She got off the stool and sunk down the side of the kitchen counter until she was huddled together.  
  
Tears began to stream down her delicate face. Her body ached all over but her heart experienced stronger pain. She hadn't felt so miserable since her mother's death.  
  
Buffy was wondering what her mom thought of the mighty slayer now. She couldn't hold it in any longer and let sobs escape her lips. She wished her mom was with her, she'd know what to say to make Buffy feel better.  
  
She wasn't used to feeling so helpless and alone, what had happened to her life?  
  
How did she go from being on top of the world to bawling on the cold tile floor?  
  
"Bye Buffy," Dawn shouted as Buffy heard the front door slam.  
  
After a good fifteen minutes spent crying Buffy got off the floor and tried to calm herself down. She went into the front hall and reached in her jacket. She pulled out a half empty pack of cigarettes and a neon green lighter. She retrieved a cigarette and lit it with shaking hands. For the past few weeks she'd been smoking to help keep her calm.  
  
She always hated smoking but lately it seemed like he most enjoyable part of her life. She inhaled the deadly fumes and let them scar her lungs. For Buffy dieing was not a fear, it was an escape. The only thing that kept her going was Dawn. If it wasn't for Dawn she wasn't sure where she would be right now.  
  
Buffy opened the front door and stared at the empty street. It was too early to be awake on a Saturday morning therefore Revello Drive was silent. Buffy sat down on the steps of the porch and enjoyed the silence morning brought. She took another drag of the cigarette and her thoughts traveled back to Spike. She loved to watch him smoke; she'd never admit it though. She liked the way the smoke escaped his ice cold lips to form a single pattern. Stop thinking about him, the voice reappeared. She couldn't help it; everywhere she looked there was a reminder of him. The tree which he always stood under smoking,  
  
the driveway where his car has been parked many times, and the grass on which they…  
  
Bad thoughts Buffy bad thoughts! Buffy didn't know how she was going to pull through it all, and this time he wasn't there to be by her side. It was her fault too, all her fault. It was because of her that she wasn't with him right now; because of herself she wasn't happy, he was right she was afraid to admit it. You always hurt the pople you love, she could hear his voice inside her head. My god, I love him, Buffy thought.  
  
The realization hit her, she did love him. She didn't want to but yet she loved him.  
  
I love Spike, she thought. Could this day get any worse?  
  
  
  
  
  
******* TBC! She admitted it yeye, I have plenty in store for you******** 


	4. Losing Grip

DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to the great people at UPN and mutant enemy. Joss is the creator of them not me.  
  
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now it's Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.  
  
***** Lyrics from Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne********  
  
  
  
  
  
The crypt smelled heavily of smoke and dust resided in every possible surface. The refrigerator had been carelessly left open and mugs of congealed blood cluttered the one single table in the crypt. No candles were lit and the only source of light was the glare from the tiny TV. If you listened very carefully you could hear the characters of the cheesy daytime soap opera speaking. The only resident of this crypt had heightened hearing therefore there was no use for more volume.  
  
Spike sat on his only chair with his deep blue eyes transfixed on the scene playing before him. In one hand he held a large half empty bottle of whiskey and in the other he clutched a picture of the only woman that held his heart in her palms. He pressed the bottle to his lips and chugged the hard liquor until his throat began to burn. He watched as the two lovers on the screen locked in a passionate kiss, he remembered when he and Buffy used to kiss like that. Even though she said it meant nothing to her you don't just kiss a person like that without feelings behind it.  
  
What have I become? Spike thought. He had gone from a notorious, feared killer to a nancy boy who swooned over the pretty slayer. Oh god I've turned into my grandsire.  
  
He remembered the good old days when he and Dru terrorized Europe, they were feared, they were respected, and even the most lethal demons knew their names. Now all he was is a pathetic lap dog for the slayer. He didn't know why he did what he did for her but the moment she asked for his help he was up and ready to please her.  
  
He loved the way her skin glowed after hours of earth shattering sex, the way her nose crinkled when she giggled, the twinkle in her eyes he rarely saw anymore, he loved everything about her. He never remembered loving anyone so much, he loved her more than Drusilla and she meant the world to him. He looked down at the picture in his hands.  
  
The night he took it was she had just slayed a nasty pussy demon, he adored the way she looked post battle. He took another long swig of his drink. She was wearing a pair of white Capri pants that accented her perfect legs along with a tight fitting white tank top that showed off her killer abs. Her hair had still been long then, he loved her long hair.  
  
He felt so alone; he had nothing to call his own. He couldn't take being without her anymore, he was losing grip…..  
  
******  
  
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby  
  
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real  
  
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
  
Why'd you turn away?  
  
Here's what I have to say  
  
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there  
  
Burning with a lost stare  
  
That's when I decided  
  
Why should I care  
  
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared  
  
I was so alone  
  
You, you need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip  
  
And I'm in this thing alone  
  
******  
  
He wished he'd never slept with Anya, it was the thing he regretted most. He had screwed up any chance he had with Buffy for an ex demon who couldn't even get him off. You stupid wanker, Spike silently cursed at himself. Buffy was never going to forgive him for what he had done. He saw the hurt in her eyes that last night he saw her. He had followed through with all her requests. He hadn't come by in three weeks, three weeks too long.  
  
  
  
He wished for nothing more than just to have her back in his arms, to hold her, kiss her, make love to her……. He took a finally taste of the strong liquid and whipped the bottle at the stone wall of the crypt. The bottle shattered producing a satisfying crash. Anger overwhelmed Spike. If only Buffy had accepted him for what he was not for what he wasn't. It was her fault they weren't together but it was his fault she hated him. There might have still been a tiny fraction of a chance if he hadn't screwed it up.  
  
He knew she used him but he didn't care. He'd rather have some part of her then nothing at all. Why did his life have to be so pathetic? What had he come to? He was sitting in his crypt in the mid of day watching soaps and obsessing over the slayer. Why had things have to become so complicated? Why had he fallen in love with her?  
  
A vampire's life was supposed to be simple, vampire kill slayer or slayer kill vampire.  
  
Not vampire love and do slayer. He crumpled the picture in his hand into a little ball and threw it on the floor. He got off his chair and retrieved an unopened bottle of tequila. Not bothering to find a shot glass he vamped out and tore of the wrapping. He downed the bottle of tequila in a couple of minutes. He was going to drown his sorrows the best way he knew how. Get piss drunk and pass out. Spike made his way to the corner of his brand new crypt. After the soldier boy's return his crypt had been blow to pieces. He didn't mind this new place though, it was closer to Buffy. Stop thinking about her, he told himself. Even thought the crypt didn't have two floors it would do. Spike laid down on the satin sheets and stared at the ceiling.  
  
He wondered what she was doing at the moment. At the thought of Buffy roaming the streets in broad daylight without him and with a normal human guy Spike's eye began to fill with unwanted tears. He was falling and falling fast. He needed her like he needed blood……  
  
****TBC, yeye now we're getting to the good parts****** 


	5. Deserate Times

DISCLAIMER: All the characters belong to the great people at UPN and mutant enemy. Joss is the creator of them not me.  
  
RATING: I'm not sure where I'm going with this yet, hopefully some place good. For now it's Pg-13 maybe some R or NC 17 later on.  
  
  
  
His icy tongue begged permission to enter her hot mouth, she parted her lips and he ravaged it with the actions of his satisfying lips. His hands traced lazy circles on her aching back and she seemed to melt under his touch. His fingers sent electric shocks down her back and every nerve ending in her body was on fire. She broke their heated embrace to come up for air; she was so out of breath she was panting. She stared at his gorgeous face and a small smile curved on her mouth. She reached her small hand to his face and cupped his chin. She'd hurt that face so many times but she could never get enough of looking at it.  
  
She leaned over and placed butterfly light kisses from his forehead down to his chin leaving a trail of emotion down his face. She lightly pushed him onto his back so that he was lying on her bed. His head rested on the pillows while she buried her face in his neck. She lightly nibbled and sucked on the sensitive spots she had mapped out by now. Small moans escaped his lips urging the girl on top of him to go on. She was driving him mad with her foreplay but he loved every second of it.  
  
The blonde descended down his lean body onto his chest. Her hands roamed under his black shirt and with one pull she tore it off leaving two pieces of black cloth on the floor. She kneaded at his chest with her expert hands and dived her head back down to kiss his abs. She slid her body further down and a growl escaped him, not a predatorily growl but a lust driven growl. She smiled at herself, she was proud of the fact she could do this to him, drive him wild like this.  
  
He couldn't take anymore of this; he grabbed her and flipped her over so that he was on top of her. He gave her that cocky grin he knew she liked and proceeded to climb down her small body. He started to pull of her pants….  
  
"BUFFY!"  
  
Buffy awoke to the sound of a loud teenage voice screaming from a couple of doors down.  
  
"I can't find my baby blue tank top, did you take it?" Dawn asked.  
  
Buffy fluttered her eyes open and let them adjust to the bright room. She yawned and then she heard Dawn cursing something about how borrowing should be illegal. First Spike was on top pf her and now her sister was yelling. It was just a dream, she thought to herself. It was just another dream.  
  
"Buffy get up! I need money me and Kaylee are going to see a movie," the teenager demanded from the doorway.  
  
"Check my purse," Buffy mumbled from under the covers.  
  
Dawn reached into Buffy's leather purse and pulled out a thin wallet. She searched for money and pulled out a 20 dollar bill.  
  
"Thanks, I'll be back tonight," Dawn announced as she left the room.  
  
Buffy did not want to get out of the safe warm haven she had formed under her large comforter. Images of her dream kept haunting her, she couldn't take her mind off Spike and those things he did to her. She knew that if she stayed in bed all she could think about would be Spike and that's the last thing she needed on her mind right now. Buffy remerged from her bed and straightened out her messy hair. She gathered up her strength and lifted herself out of her bed. She stumbled across her weapons bag and stubbed her toe. Buffy whimpered in pain. RING RING! The phone rang and Buffy ran down the hall to her mother's old room to get it.  
  
By the time she reached it was on its seventh ring. She quickly picked it up not wanting to annoy the person on the line.  
  
"Buffy? It's Giles," Buffy's face lit up as she recognized her watcher's voice. "How are you?"  
  
"Giles! I'm so glad you called, I've missed you, I've been fine," Buffy paused when she realized she was babbling.  
  
"I've missed you all too, good news I've decided to visit," Giles continued.  
  
"Really when?"  
  
"Most likely in mid next week."  
  
"That's so good; I can't wait to see you."  
  
"I'm anxious to see you too."  
  
They talked for about another 10 minutes, Buffy told him all about what's new in Sunnydale and he told her of his new life in England. These past couples of months he had been gone had been really hard for the scoobies, researching the demons was much harder when Giles was present to help. Buffy had hung up the phone and decided it was best to get cleaned up and go to work. She was looking forward to Giles coming back even thought he'd leave again. Seeing him for a week was better then not seeing him at all.  
  
Finally Buffy left the house and started on the short walk towards the Double Meat Palace. It was going to be a long day…..  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
The lights of the fast food restaurant dimmed and the last employee there was busy scrubbing the grill. The petite blonde was hunched over the filthy appliance and was using all her remaining strength to remove the stuck on grease. After what seemed like hours of rubbing and washing she had finally finished cleaning the establishment. She reeked of meat and her hands were covered in tiny burns she had acquired from working the grill for half the day. Money it brings money, she kept repeating to herself. Buffy locked the office and changed out of her uniform. She stepped outside into the night and locked up the restaurant. She inhaled the crisp night air; she'd rather be inhaling something else. She pulled out the pack of cigarettes resting in her pocket and withdrew one. She lit it and started to walk down the street.  
  
Suddenly Buffy heard a sound coming from behind the building, it sounded like something falling. Reflex whipped her head around and her eyes darted to where the noise was coming from. She took one last drag of the cigarette and threw it in a puddle.  
  
Buffy took silent catlike steps towards the source of the noise, the peered her head around the corner and saw nothing but a dumpster and a few crates. The light in the alley was flickering on and off creating an uneasy atmosphere.  
  
Buffy looked around the dumpster and saw nothing. Then something pierced through her shoulder. Immense pain soared through her body; Buffy fell onto the ground and clutched her shoulder. Buffy hadn't experienced so much pain in a long time; she looked down at her hands and noticed the red liquid that spread through her palm. She could feel something long and hard protruding from her wound.  
  
Buffy wrapper her palm around something long and thin and pulled with all her strength. At that moment Buffy felt like she had ripped out an arm, the pain brought tears to her eyes. Shoving the pain away she examined the object in her hand. It was an arrow, masterfully crafted and it had encrypted writing down the side. Through the arrow was what looked like a piece of paper. Buffy removed the paper and read the text. Fear coursed through her as the words written sunk in.  
  
Little girls shouldn't be left home alone after dark, the note said. Buffy struggled on her feet and sprinted down the DMP parking lot and down the street. She didn't slow down until she ran halfway through town to Revello Drive. Buffy quickened her speed and ran to her front door. Still clutching her shoulder Buffy checked under the plant pot for the spare key. It was there and she unlocked her door.  
  
She hoped Dawn was okay, maybe she was too late.  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy's chocked up voice echoed through the dark and silent house. Buffy checked the living room and kitchen but there was no sign of Dawn. Buffy removed her jacket and started to walk up the stairs. If anything happened to Dawn Buffy wouldn't be able to forgive herself. She paused for a moment to listen for any sounds. Then she heard tiny little bangs in a repetitive manner. Buffy checked Dawn's bedroom, nothing there but an extremely messy room. She checked her own bedroom and found nothing there either. She checked her mother's old room and all that faced her was a dark room highlighted with shadows.  
  
Immediately Buffy marched to the bathroom ignoring the enormous pain in her back.  
  
She tried to open the door but it seemed to be locked. She could hear muffled cries coming from inside. She silently prayed Dawn wasn't hurt. With one swift kick she broke down the door standing between her and her sister. The wooden door collapsed to the floor and relief swept Buffy as she saw Dawn was not seriously hurt. Her little sister was tied up to the pole that hung the shower curtain. Her hands were banded with a thick black rope. The ropes must have been tied too tight because little trickles of blood coated her thin arms.  
  
Dawn was barely conscious, her eyes were half open and blood coated one side of her head. Buffy noticed the large wound on her forehead; she must have been knocked out with something big. Anger flared through Buffy, whoever did this to her own flesh and blood was going to pay big time. Buffy ran to Dawn's aid and practically tore apart the rope using her one able arm. Dawn's limp body fell into Buffy's waiting arms. The slayer could hear a faint heartbeat indicating she wasn't dead. Buffy carried the young girl to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. She ran downstairs and called Willow and Xander and told them to meet her at the hospital  
  
Buffy quickly dialled 911 and demanded an ambulance to her house. She looked down o her baby sister lying there unconscious and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. The ambulance arrived within five minutes and Dawn and Buffy were taken to Sunnydale hospital.  
  
Once at the hospital Buffy was greeted by her two best friends. She told them as much as she could about what happened.  
  
"Whoever did this to her will not live to see another day or night," Buffy said through gritted teeth.  
  
A young female doctor approached Buffy. "Miss you might want to get that nasty wound checked out let me help you."  
  
Buffy was at a loss for words at the night's events and just followed the doctor into a small room. Xander and Willow were both stunned at who could have done this to Dawn.  
  
The doctor disinfected and bandaged up Buffy's shoulder, she also gave her a bottle of pain killers. Buffy had no use for them, through all the anger she was feeling pain was no factor. She came back to her friends who waited outside of the room Dawn was transported to. They all were anxious to hear what the doctors had to say. They waited for about a half hour, Buffy sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair refusing to talk to either Xander or Willow. A doctor finally came out of the room with some news.  
  
"Dawn got a pretty nasty blow to the head but luckily no brain damage. There was a slight concussion. She lost quite a bit of blood from her wrists," the doctor said staring down Buffy.  
  
"Has Dawn ever showed any signs of depression?"  
  
Buffy's head shot up at the doctor. He thought she had tried to kill herself.  
  
"No, never," Buffy answered in a low voice.  
  
"Maybe this should be reported to the police," the doctor hinted.  
  
"It will be," Buffy lied and looked away.  
  
She was glad Dawn was going to be ok after all.  
  
"She's fine right now, she is awake and breathing is steady. The damage was very minimal. If you wish you may take her home right now."  
  
"Thank you doctor," Xander answered for Buffy. He knew how much she hated hospitals.  
  
"Can we see her?" Willow asked.  
  
"No problem," with that the doctor walked away.  
  
Buffy Xander and Willow made their way into the room and found Dawn sitting on the edge of the bed with a bandaged head and wrists.  
  
"Dawnie!" Buffy ran to her sister and held her while the younger Summers cried.  
  
"What happened? Who did this to you?" Willow asked.  
  
"Well I just came home from Kaylee's and I went upstairs to take a shower. I was in the bathroom when a tall thin demon looking thing came out from behind the door," Dawn was stuttering a little from right.  
  
"He had long grey hair and like a sick looking wrinkly face. The one thing I remember was his tiny eyes, they were hidden by the wrinkles but I could see them glow in the dark. He was covered in like this black robe that had all this weird writing all over it. He freaked me out."  
  
Dawn was sobbing at the memory.  
  
"Go on sweetie," Willow encouraged.  
  
"He never said a word the whole time. I don't remember everything but I remember he waved his hand the rope he had in his hand flew to me and like tied me to the shower pole. I tried to scream and he made a bottle of something whack my head."  
  
"He was so creepy, Buffy why was he after me?"  
  
"I don't know…."  
  
Buffy was so puzzled and angry at the same time. Someone was after her sister again.  
  
Dawn then noticed Buffy's bandaged shoulder.  
  
"What happened to your shoulder?"  
  
Buffy explained to them her ordeal outside of the DMP.  
  
"Alright, Willow call Tara and do some research on this demon and the language the text was written in. Xander try and beat some information out of Willy and call Giles to tell him what happened," Buffy handed Willow the note she stuffed in her jean pocket and gave Xander Mr.Pointy which she always carried with her.  
  
"What about Dawn?" Willow asked.  
  
"I'm taking her to someone who can protect her, Xander don't try to talk me out of it because he is the only one strong enough to protect her."  
  
"Dawn you'll have to stay with Spike for awhile until I can figure all this out," Buffy informed her. "Don't worry you'll be safe, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."  
  
Buffy hated taking Dawn to Spike but right now she had no choice. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Whatever hurt both her and Dawn was going down. She's been itching for a good ass kicking all week and finally maybe she was going to get one.  
  
Dawn's safety was more important then her personal life…..  
  
*********TBC, OMG I have so much for you, this is going to be a really long series so keep checking back and reviewing!******************** 


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